Just some facts about me...
1. Last beverage ~ Coffee
2. Last phone call~ hubby
3. Last kiss~ a few minutes ago
4. Last song you listened to~ Money makes the world go round - Lize
5. Last time you cried~ last night(just a few tears, nothing hearty)
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice ~ Yes
7. Been cheated on? ~ Yes! Bastard!
8. Kissed someone & regretted it ? ~ yes
9. Lost someone special? Yes
10. Been depressed? ~ Who hasn't?
11. Been high? –> Yes
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Pink
13. Silver
14. Black
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Have you made new friends this year ~ Yes
16. Fallen out of love ~ No, i love my husband more than anything
17. Laughed until you cried ~ Yes
18. Met someone who changed you ~ I am who I am....
19. Found out who your true friends were ~ Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you ~ Yes
21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list ~ top friends list? the answer would be no, anyway.
TRUTH:
23. How many kids do you want to have ~ 3
24. Do you have any pets ~ Yes, a mini yorkie, and a ginger cat
25. Do you want to change your name ~ No...
26. What did you do for your last birthday ~ hmm can't remember
27. What time did you wake up today ~ about 6am. Damn work~!
28. What were you doing at midnight last night ~ Sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for ~ My 25th & this saturday(pool party) :)
30. Last time you saw your father ~ He's in the same room as me - we work together.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life ~ hmm there is a few things
32. What are you listening to right now ~ 94.7 Highveld Stereo, and the people talking in the office
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom ~ Tom from myspace sent me a welcone message. lol
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now? ~ My grandmother
36. What’s your real name ~ It's a secret
37. Relationship Status ~ Married
38. Zodiac sign ~ Pices
39. Male or female ~ F
40.Primary School ~ Empangeni Preparatory School
41. High School ~ Boksburg High School, and a few Private schools
43. Hair color ~ Blonde
44. Long or short ~ Long
45. Height ~ 1,71m
46. Do you have a crush on someone ~ My husband ;-)
47. What do you like about yourself ~ nothing really
48. Piercings ~ ears, ear cartilage, belly, tongue
49. Tattoos ~ 4 starts and my husbands initial on the back of my neck
50. Righty or lefty ~ lefty
FIRSTS :
51. First surgery ~ Tonsils at the age of 1. lol
52. First piercing ~ ears
53. First tattoo ~ read above
54. First best friend ~ Eleni
55. First Sport ~ swimming
56. First pet ~ TaChe, a dog :)
57. First vacation ~ To Jhb - can you believe(as a kid)
58. First concert ~ DC Talk
59. First crush ~ A boy by the name of Tim
60. First alcohol drink ~ Some cider - geez, we're talking bout ages ago.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating ~ nothing
62. Drinking ~ coffee
63. I’m about to ~ pack up to go home
64. Listening to ~ Highveld... missing 5fm! Damn Work~!!!
65. Waiting for ~ my dad to hurry up with this meeting he's having infront of me... i wanna go home!
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OTHER SEX?
69. Lips or eyes~ eyes
70. Hugs or kisses ~ both
71. Shorter or taller ~ taller
72. Older or Younger ~ atleast 4 years older
73. Romantic or spontaneous ~ Both
74. Nice stomach or nice arms ~ and that matters why?
75. Tattoos or piercings ~ neither
76. Sensitive or loud ~ sensitive
77. Hook-up or relationship ~ relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant ~ hesitant (This is a weird question) Although trouble maker sounds like it could be quite a lot of fun :)
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger ~ Yes
80. Drank hard liquor ~ yes
81. Lost glasses/contacts ~ nope
82. cried in front on someone ~ yes
83. Broken someone’s heart ~ yes
84. Had your own heart broken ~ Nods head sadly
85. Been arrested ~ nope
86. Turned someone down ~ yes
87. Cried when someone died ~ yes
88. Liked a friend that is a girl ~ lmao - uhm, yes *blushes*
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself ~ no
90. Miracles ~ been trusting for one for a very long time, but have yet to see it happen.
91. Love at first sight ~ yes
92. Heaven ~ yes
93. Santa Clause ~ no
94. Kissing on the first date ~ when i still dated, depends...haha! now i'm a married woman. These lips are reserved ;-)
95. Angels ~ Yes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now ~ nah - work with hubby, so i see him 24/7! Love it.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time ~ Yes
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever ~ Yes!!!! Hell yes!
99. What’s the one thing you cannot live without ~ Tons of things... my heart, lungs, brain without these things I would surely keel over.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths ~ I will change it to 101 truths just to be different.
101. See above.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
ABC
Tomorrow I'm starting the ABC eating plan...
Here's the plan*
Day 1: 500cals(or less)
Day 2: 500cals(or less)
Day 3: 300cals
Day 4: 200cals
Day 5: 100cals
Day 6: 200cals
Day 7: 300cals
Day 8: 400cals
Day 9: 500cals
Day 10: Fast
Day 11: 150cals
Day 12: 200cals
Day 13: 400cals
Day 14: 350cals
Day 15: 250cals
Day 16: 200cals
Day 17: Fast
Day 18: 200cals
Day 19: 100cals
Day 20: Fast
Day 21: 300cals
Day 22: 250cals
Day 23: 200cals
Day 24: 150cals
Day 25: 100cals
Day 26: 50cals
Day 27: 100cals
Day 28: 200cals
Day 29: 200cals
Day 30: 300cals
Day 31: 800cals
Day 32: fast
Day 33: 250cals
Day 34: 350cals
Day 35: 450cals
Day 36: fast
Day 37: 500cals
Day 38: 450cals
Day 39: 400cals
Day 40: 350cals
Day 41: 300cals
Day 42: 250cals
Day 43: 200cals
Day 44: 200cals
Day 45: 250cals
Day 46: 200cals
Day 47: 300cals
Day 48: 200cals
Day 49: 150cals
Day 50: fast
***
It's a bit rough - and I haven't fasted in soooo long! But this should end midmarch, and I'm hoping to have lost quite a few kgs by then.
Only thing I'm worried about is, on saturday(day6), we have a huge pool party at my place... and the eating bit is fine as i dont normally - but drinking??! soooo many cals in booze. Any suggestions from my friends?
xxx
Here's the plan*
Day 1: 500cals(or less)
Day 2: 500cals(or less)
Day 3: 300cals
Day 4: 200cals
Day 5: 100cals
Day 6: 200cals
Day 7: 300cals
Day 8: 400cals
Day 9: 500cals
Day 10: Fast
Day 11: 150cals
Day 12: 200cals
Day 13: 400cals
Day 14: 350cals
Day 15: 250cals
Day 16: 200cals
Day 17: Fast
Day 18: 200cals
Day 19: 100cals
Day 20: Fast
Day 21: 300cals
Day 22: 250cals
Day 23: 200cals
Day 24: 150cals
Day 25: 100cals
Day 26: 50cals
Day 27: 100cals
Day 28: 200cals
Day 29: 200cals
Day 30: 300cals
Day 31: 800cals
Day 32: fast
Day 33: 250cals
Day 34: 350cals
Day 35: 450cals
Day 36: fast
Day 37: 500cals
Day 38: 450cals
Day 39: 400cals
Day 40: 350cals
Day 41: 300cals
Day 42: 250cals
Day 43: 200cals
Day 44: 200cals
Day 45: 250cals
Day 46: 200cals
Day 47: 300cals
Day 48: 200cals
Day 49: 150cals
Day 50: fast
***
It's a bit rough - and I haven't fasted in soooo long! But this should end midmarch, and I'm hoping to have lost quite a few kgs by then.
Only thing I'm worried about is, on saturday(day6), we have a huge pool party at my place... and the eating bit is fine as i dont normally - but drinking??! soooo many cals in booze. Any suggestions from my friends?
xxx
Saturday, January 23, 2010
*DrAmA*QuEeN*
This week has been one of pure craziness... Workwise, we have been working to the bone...
I'm just praying it pays off- I can't take this stress anymore. I just cant! Broke down again this week, and the smallest things crack me further... Not fun! If i stress, I get physically ill... And i saw it again this week - my stomach was upset for the better part of the week.
Had a braai with friends last night & our place. Was great - but went overboard... too much booze, and and and.... stayed up all night with my cuz & my other friend, while, Bj slept, and our other friends in their room. Had to take my friend home at 5.30am this morning so she could get ready for work. hmm wasn't in a good state to drive - but did pretty well. haha
Had a huge fight with my aunt today. I cannot believe what a selfish & self righteous bitch she is. It's about that gym cardio equipment my mother swapped with her for her health walker...
Now, i was upset about it when the whole 'swap' thing happened because I used it more than anyone in my whole family did. I thought i would have first option to get that cardio equipment. But anyway - the deal was that after a yr or so, when they're bored, they'll swap back. So, we asked if we could swap back a few months ago, and there were always excuses... so today, my mom spoke to my aunt, and my aunt said my mom must speak to my uncle about it, she's not getting involved. So my mom did. My uncle apparently pulled every excuse out why not to swap back, which my mother kept backing up with other facts of her own. And when he saw he wasn't winning - he told her that my dad owes him money for a gate he put up yrs back for them. You know what's the funny thing about this whole part.... my uncle NEVER even finished the gate - my dad had to. And anyway, that deal was made between him & my dad, so it had nothing to do with what was going on with the exercise equipment.
So the verdict was this - my dad could keep the 1500 that he owes my uncle, and my uncle will pay him another 500 for the cardio equipment. My parents paid about 5000 for that. Where's the logic??? They're fucken thieves. *sorry for the language, but I am very upset and hurt! And I did say this was my 'venting' space, didn't I?* lol
So then I sms'd my aunt, and this is the rough convo:
(Aunt=A)
Me: 'I am so disgusted & disappointed right now.To think that your own family can turn on you like that. It makes me sick to the core. Well that's it from me. Take Care'
A: 'Pardon me, but what does this have to do with you?'
Me: 'I could ask the same.What does this have to do with Uncle D?'
A: 'Your mom/dad owes D money, so I must find out both stories before butting in'
Me: 'Oh, money for the gate was never even finished, leaving my dad to do it. Funny that. I know alot more than you think I do. Atleast its not us that will have to answer to the big man one day.'
A: 'According to me, this book is closed.'
Me: 'Oh yes it is. And you'll never see me again.'
A: 'Always the drama queen, that has to have the last say... 25??? Hard to believe.'
Me: 'Well it must run in the 'family'.
*****
And that was it... can you believe it??? I'd rather be a 'Drama Queen' than be selfish & self righteous. You know - im tired of it. I'm writing them off. They mean nothing to me. I'm sooo tired of people walking over my parents and me. They don't deserve it. My parents do their best to help anyone who is in need of help. And it's like there is people with knives around every corner, just waiting to stab it in their backs. I have decided F#*K that! I will not keep quiet anymore. I will stand up to everyone and anyone who treats my family unjustly, I will not hold my mouth... Where everyone else is too scared to say something, I will be the person to say it!
Come on now? Is that really wrong of me? I don't think so...
You know - my mom is nothing like her sister - she is caring, unselfish, honest, always there to help at the drop of a hat, and just one of the best people i know. Some of the few traits, her sister doesn't have. Her sister takes after their mother.... everything is always about 'me, me, me, me, me and what more can I and everone else do for ME' - how can one live with their conscience being like that. Self bloody righteous. It disgusts me, and sickens me to the core.
Well, it's over now -
I had such a lazy day - slept from about 10ish till 3.30... and feel like sleeping some more... haha! My perfect saturday!
I weighed in this morning - thought I would take a chance. After all the booze last night, after eating a boerewors roll for breakfast cos I was soooo hungry, and with a full bladder.
The scale showed me that I was 0.6kgs down. OMG! Shocker - but sooooo happy! I'm trying so hard.
I became an agent this week for the miracle weightloss tablet - Simply Slim. So excited to get this going. People are losing crazy amounts of weight on it. Mr South Africa lost 3.5kgs in his first 2 days.(during this week) It has a 92% success rate - the 8% only going to those that have problems such as diabetes, or thyroid, etc... Check the site out... www.simplyslim.co.za
The nice thing about it - is it forces you to drink a minimum of 3litres of water per day... which keeps your body hydrated, you don't lose water weight, so what you lose is pure fat. It speeds up your metabolism with no drastic changes to your dietary as well as your exercise habits. I'm going to be starting on it month end too. I'm sooo excited. It's a little pricey. Going at R590 for a months supply of 30 tabs - but it is soooo worth it. It also comes with a 7month guarantee. If you don't lose in 7 months - you'll get a full refund. Now what diet product does that?? None. Says something doesn't it.
If anyone of you live in SA and would like to order some to try - please let me know.
Ok, I'm going to browse some blogs now - for inspiration... Have a great weekend lovelies...
*Drama Queen - signing out... Haha! ;-)
I'm just praying it pays off- I can't take this stress anymore. I just cant! Broke down again this week, and the smallest things crack me further... Not fun! If i stress, I get physically ill... And i saw it again this week - my stomach was upset for the better part of the week.
Had a braai with friends last night & our place. Was great - but went overboard... too much booze, and and and.... stayed up all night with my cuz & my other friend, while, Bj slept, and our other friends in their room. Had to take my friend home at 5.30am this morning so she could get ready for work. hmm wasn't in a good state to drive - but did pretty well. haha
Had a huge fight with my aunt today. I cannot believe what a selfish & self righteous bitch she is. It's about that gym cardio equipment my mother swapped with her for her health walker...
Now, i was upset about it when the whole 'swap' thing happened because I used it more than anyone in my whole family did. I thought i would have first option to get that cardio equipment. But anyway - the deal was that after a yr or so, when they're bored, they'll swap back. So, we asked if we could swap back a few months ago, and there were always excuses... so today, my mom spoke to my aunt, and my aunt said my mom must speak to my uncle about it, she's not getting involved. So my mom did. My uncle apparently pulled every excuse out why not to swap back, which my mother kept backing up with other facts of her own. And when he saw he wasn't winning - he told her that my dad owes him money for a gate he put up yrs back for them. You know what's the funny thing about this whole part.... my uncle NEVER even finished the gate - my dad had to. And anyway, that deal was made between him & my dad, so it had nothing to do with what was going on with the exercise equipment.
So the verdict was this - my dad could keep the 1500 that he owes my uncle, and my uncle will pay him another 500 for the cardio equipment. My parents paid about 5000 for that. Where's the logic??? They're fucken thieves. *sorry for the language, but I am very upset and hurt! And I did say this was my 'venting' space, didn't I?* lol
So then I sms'd my aunt, and this is the rough convo:
(Aunt=A)
Me: 'I am so disgusted & disappointed right now.To think that your own family can turn on you like that. It makes me sick to the core. Well that's it from me. Take Care'
A: 'Pardon me, but what does this have to do with you?'
Me: 'I could ask the same.What does this have to do with Uncle D?'
A: 'Your mom/dad owes D money, so I must find out both stories before butting in'
Me: 'Oh, money for the gate was never even finished, leaving my dad to do it. Funny that. I know alot more than you think I do. Atleast its not us that will have to answer to the big man one day.'
A: 'According to me, this book is closed.'
Me: 'Oh yes it is. And you'll never see me again.'
A: 'Always the drama queen, that has to have the last say... 25??? Hard to believe.'
Me: 'Well it must run in the 'family'.
*****
And that was it... can you believe it??? I'd rather be a 'Drama Queen' than be selfish & self righteous. You know - im tired of it. I'm writing them off. They mean nothing to me. I'm sooo tired of people walking over my parents and me. They don't deserve it. My parents do their best to help anyone who is in need of help. And it's like there is people with knives around every corner, just waiting to stab it in their backs. I have decided F#*K that! I will not keep quiet anymore. I will stand up to everyone and anyone who treats my family unjustly, I will not hold my mouth... Where everyone else is too scared to say something, I will be the person to say it!
Come on now? Is that really wrong of me? I don't think so...
You know - my mom is nothing like her sister - she is caring, unselfish, honest, always there to help at the drop of a hat, and just one of the best people i know. Some of the few traits, her sister doesn't have. Her sister takes after their mother.... everything is always about 'me, me, me, me, me and what more can I and everone else do for ME' - how can one live with their conscience being like that. Self bloody righteous. It disgusts me, and sickens me to the core.
Well, it's over now -
I had such a lazy day - slept from about 10ish till 3.30... and feel like sleeping some more... haha! My perfect saturday!
I weighed in this morning - thought I would take a chance. After all the booze last night, after eating a boerewors roll for breakfast cos I was soooo hungry, and with a full bladder.
The scale showed me that I was 0.6kgs down. OMG! Shocker - but sooooo happy! I'm trying so hard.
I became an agent this week for the miracle weightloss tablet - Simply Slim. So excited to get this going. People are losing crazy amounts of weight on it. Mr South Africa lost 3.5kgs in his first 2 days.(during this week) It has a 92% success rate - the 8% only going to those that have problems such as diabetes, or thyroid, etc... Check the site out... www.simplyslim.co.za
The nice thing about it - is it forces you to drink a minimum of 3litres of water per day... which keeps your body hydrated, you don't lose water weight, so what you lose is pure fat. It speeds up your metabolism with no drastic changes to your dietary as well as your exercise habits. I'm going to be starting on it month end too. I'm sooo excited. It's a little pricey. Going at R590 for a months supply of 30 tabs - but it is soooo worth it. It also comes with a 7month guarantee. If you don't lose in 7 months - you'll get a full refund. Now what diet product does that?? None. Says something doesn't it.
If anyone of you live in SA and would like to order some to try - please let me know.
Ok, I'm going to browse some blogs now - for inspiration... Have a great weekend lovelies...
*Drama Queen - signing out... Haha! ;-)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Control!
Had to force myself to blog now...It's late and im kinda tired...
What a weekend!!! The Pool Party was HUGE success! It was sooooo much fun!
Our friendships are really starting to get sooo strong! I love it!
We've planned another one for the 30th. Wow! It was really great!
I ended up being the shoulder to cry on for alot of my friends that night though...found out one of my friends also battles with an ed, and that she SI's too... sooo sad, but yet comforting to know that I'm not the only one in my circle of friends. I havent SI'd for years though...but the Ed, well we wont even go there...
The only part that gets me down about partying is that when I drink, I feel the need to binge on all types of crap the next day! And I can't help myself.
I couldn't even weigh-in this morning, as I left my digital scale at my parent's place cos my mom wanted to get an accurate weight to see if she's on the right track with her diet.
Brought it home today, but left it in my car(blonde)...so now I'm gonna have to get it first thing in the morning, bring it in, then see what's the damage.
Did sooo well today - well it started off that way. Had breakfast(Weetbix), then 1.5 medium banana's for a snack... then didn't eat til dinner time. All i wanted for dinner was a cuppa-soup, but ended up having about 4bites of a lamb chop(no fat), and some chips. So that took my calorie intake to something like 670 odd. Not impressed!
I've set myself a goal - by the 30th(the next Pool Party), I want to have lost atleast 5kgs... I think that's pretty do-able...well even if it isn't, it will just have to be.
One of my friends noticed on saturday that I've lost some weight, and when I see them again next saturday, I want her and others to notice how im dropping this fatazz!
It makes me feel good! I need this. I thrive on compliments...
My cousin is spending the night by me tomorrow so that we can plan our bday party coming up in March/April. She's turning 21, and I'm turning 25.
We decided to throw a huge combined thing. So after work, I'll fetch her, then go home - and we can plan every little detail of our party. It's soooo exciting.
This is really a big year for me. My grandfather passed away in 2004, and he left me an inheritance that will only be released to me on my 25th... I've waited so long!
Don't get me wrong - before he died, I never even knew I was in his will. We thought it was just my father, as he was an only child. But turns out, he split his possessions between the 5 of us(mom, dad, sis, bro & I), and his closest friend at that time.
I was only allowed to apply to my trust for things like my studies(which helped so much), and my car(which I bought straight out the box, and owe nada on it)... so he really helped us alot!
I miss him you know - and my grandmother who passed on a yr or 2 before him... They divorced when my dad was 2... but they were the best grandparents ever!
Work was not too bad today - was crazy busy though because I had to get alot of things done before I could go to my Pastel training at 1... ended up moving to 2...
I do soooo many jobs in my dads/hubbys company...We actually worked it out the other day, if I got paid what I was worth, it would almost amount to a 6 digit number monthly...lol. Crazy...
But we are building this business...Its only been up and running since September, so I must just be patient.
I'm gonna end this post...time for bed. I can't anymore!
Sweet dreams! xxx
What a weekend!!! The Pool Party was HUGE success! It was sooooo much fun!
Our friendships are really starting to get sooo strong! I love it!
We've planned another one for the 30th. Wow! It was really great!
I ended up being the shoulder to cry on for alot of my friends that night though...found out one of my friends also battles with an ed, and that she SI's too... sooo sad, but yet comforting to know that I'm not the only one in my circle of friends. I havent SI'd for years though...but the Ed, well we wont even go there...
The only part that gets me down about partying is that when I drink, I feel the need to binge on all types of crap the next day! And I can't help myself.
I couldn't even weigh-in this morning, as I left my digital scale at my parent's place cos my mom wanted to get an accurate weight to see if she's on the right track with her diet.
Brought it home today, but left it in my car(blonde)...so now I'm gonna have to get it first thing in the morning, bring it in, then see what's the damage.
Did sooo well today - well it started off that way. Had breakfast(Weetbix), then 1.5 medium banana's for a snack... then didn't eat til dinner time. All i wanted for dinner was a cuppa-soup, but ended up having about 4bites of a lamb chop(no fat), and some chips. So that took my calorie intake to something like 670 odd. Not impressed!
I've set myself a goal - by the 30th(the next Pool Party), I want to have lost atleast 5kgs... I think that's pretty do-able...well even if it isn't, it will just have to be.
One of my friends noticed on saturday that I've lost some weight, and when I see them again next saturday, I want her and others to notice how im dropping this fatazz!
It makes me feel good! I need this. I thrive on compliments...
My cousin is spending the night by me tomorrow so that we can plan our bday party coming up in March/April. She's turning 21, and I'm turning 25.
We decided to throw a huge combined thing. So after work, I'll fetch her, then go home - and we can plan every little detail of our party. It's soooo exciting.
This is really a big year for me. My grandfather passed away in 2004, and he left me an inheritance that will only be released to me on my 25th... I've waited so long!
Don't get me wrong - before he died, I never even knew I was in his will. We thought it was just my father, as he was an only child. But turns out, he split his possessions between the 5 of us(mom, dad, sis, bro & I), and his closest friend at that time.
I was only allowed to apply to my trust for things like my studies(which helped so much), and my car(which I bought straight out the box, and owe nada on it)... so he really helped us alot!
I miss him you know - and my grandmother who passed on a yr or 2 before him... They divorced when my dad was 2... but they were the best grandparents ever!
Work was not too bad today - was crazy busy though because I had to get alot of things done before I could go to my Pastel training at 1... ended up moving to 2...
I do soooo many jobs in my dads/hubbys company...We actually worked it out the other day, if I got paid what I was worth, it would almost amount to a 6 digit number monthly...lol. Crazy...
But we are building this business...Its only been up and running since September, so I must just be patient.
I'm gonna end this post...time for bed. I can't anymore!
Sweet dreams! xxx
Saturday, January 16, 2010
In Demand, for a change...
I've been quiet for a few days... just haven't had the time to post - but I'll update quick.
I went yesterday(friday) morning for a 2nd opinion on my lower back pain, etc as i was still so sore and couldn't take it anymore. After more tests, etc, turns out I have a bladder infection that went into my kidneys- kidney infection. Atleast now, I'm on the right medication, and am on my way to feeling alot better.
Last night, a friend and her new bf came over - had such an awesome time. Braaied, went through 3litres of Wine between her and myself, lol, danced, played a bit of guitar hero, etc. It was really great!!! Looks like we'll be visiting alot more, as her bf and my hubby get along really well. which is awesome! I said in the beginning of the year - this is the year for NEW friendships...and its happening!
Today we're having a pool party at my place from 2ish with a few of our friends. So it's gonna be another alcoholic-calorie fest - bang goes my calorie restricting. But i will do my best to make up for it afterwards.
You know, last year, it was always hubby & I doing the inviting - wherever we went - clubs, or if we were just having a house party, etc. No one really invited us out. But so far, this year, everyone is inviting us to parties, etc. We are in demand for some or other reason. Maybe it's got to do with the fact of our new friendship circles that we're in. Real friends that we have made. Not people who say they are friends, but turns out they just want something from us. I like it!
Now to just lose this damn weight, so that I don't feel out when the camera clicks.... All these hotties and then the blob! It's so true. I'll post some pics of my cousins welcome back party we had last week - then you'll see. My friends are gorgeous!
Anyway, time for me to end this post - have to get ready for the party this afternoon.
xxx
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A Shattering Heart
Wow! Look at the time. I haven't had a chance to even think about blogging today.
It's 20h51 and I'm still at work. Fun! We are busy with a truck wrap that the guy is fetching tonight. The joys of working in the printing industry. :-/
I got my blood test result back today - and guess what? It's negative. Could've guessed~! Story of my life. Ok, by rights, it is still early - but I am taking this as a solid negative! I'm so tired of being let down. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
The gynae said I must wait to see if my cycle comes this month or not - which is another week or so - if not, back for tests. Then if it's negative again - she's putting me on something to force my cycle. Tired does not even begin to describe how I am feeling about this topic.
My back and stomach is still killing me - and no hint as to what the cause is...
Enough about that - On the work side of things, things are picking up nicely. I'm just tired of hubby's attitude. He's always negative. (We work together - bought into my parents company).
It's as though he's getting worse. I just wish he could try see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not far away. I think it's just because he's financially under stress... I'm tired of playing 'middle man' between him & my parents. Trying to stick up for him, as well as them.
He is not an easy man. Some of you ladies think your men are difficult, lol - well a week in my shoes, and you'll be running! No jokes.
Diet-wise, things are going pretty well. From last Monday morning until yesterday morning - I lost 3kgs(6.6lbs). Not bad for my first week back into the swing of things. I'm limiting myself to no more than 500cals - if more, its all negative cals, but not by much.
I need to make up a point system for myself - so I can keep track of how I'm doing. Haven't had time to exercise at all yet. Thats my downfall - but it will happen! Working on it. I also need to drink more water...another downfall!
Watch this space...
Soooo tired. Going to try finish my work up and head home.
Sweet dreamz everyone.
xxx
It's 20h51 and I'm still at work. Fun! We are busy with a truck wrap that the guy is fetching tonight. The joys of working in the printing industry. :-/
I got my blood test result back today - and guess what? It's negative. Could've guessed~! Story of my life. Ok, by rights, it is still early - but I am taking this as a solid negative! I'm so tired of being let down. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
The gynae said I must wait to see if my cycle comes this month or not - which is another week or so - if not, back for tests. Then if it's negative again - she's putting me on something to force my cycle. Tired does not even begin to describe how I am feeling about this topic.
My back and stomach is still killing me - and no hint as to what the cause is...
Enough about that - On the work side of things, things are picking up nicely. I'm just tired of hubby's attitude. He's always negative. (We work together - bought into my parents company).
It's as though he's getting worse. I just wish he could try see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not far away. I think it's just because he's financially under stress... I'm tired of playing 'middle man' between him & my parents. Trying to stick up for him, as well as them.
He is not an easy man. Some of you ladies think your men are difficult, lol - well a week in my shoes, and you'll be running! No jokes.
Diet-wise, things are going pretty well. From last Monday morning until yesterday morning - I lost 3kgs(6.6lbs). Not bad for my first week back into the swing of things. I'm limiting myself to no more than 500cals - if more, its all negative cals, but not by much.
I need to make up a point system for myself - so I can keep track of how I'm doing. Haven't had time to exercise at all yet. Thats my downfall - but it will happen! Working on it. I also need to drink more water...another downfall!
Watch this space...
Soooo tired. Going to try finish my work up and head home.
Sweet dreamz everyone.
xxx
Monday, January 11, 2010
Surprise Surprise!
I had a terrible night last night. I had such lower abdominal cramps as well as lower backache. I think I only fell asleep around 2am. So this morning I thought I better get it checked out as my cysts are forever giving me nonsense.
My gynae did an internal sonar - apparently my endometrium is very swollen, which could indicate an early pregnancy or that I'm about to start my cycle. No! I'm not due for another week and a half, and my cycle is so long and irregular anyway - so the gynae suspects an early pregnancy(as I had a funny cycle last month) . Did the whole blood test thing - so I must phone in to get the result after 11am tomorrow. She says, even if it shows negative, there's still a chance because its still early. (I would only be 2 weeks or so). She ruled out bladder infection, other infection, other tum probs, & there's no cyst in sight.
I'm tired of this emotional rollercoaster. We've been trying(TTC) for about 18months now.
Everytime I get my hopes up, they get shattered. I'm really trying not to, but deep inside it's so difficult - I'm really hoping that this is the end of my little infertility spell, and it means some kind of joy will be brought into hubby & my life very soon.
I've waited patiently(sometimes impatiently) for so long - even watching my younger sister bring the first grandchild into our family recently. That hurt a little - ok a lot, as she isn't married, the boyfriend isn't in a stable job, they don't have their own place, etc, and here I am, happily married, we've both got stable jobs, we don't owe on our stunning house, neither do we owe a cent on our cars...and yet we can't add a beautiful little being into our family.
Don't get me wrong - I love my sister so much, and I love my little nephew to bits... He wasn't a mistake! Life happens! God put him here for a reason. Sometime's I just don't understand why things play out the way they do.
That's why deep down I am secretly, silently hoping, that this is the end of our struggle - but if it isn't, then I'll just have to pick myself up and carry on. In His Time, they say - not our own.
I will see how things go during the day - a bit busy at work. Might post a bit later.
xxx
My gynae did an internal sonar - apparently my endometrium is very swollen, which could indicate an early pregnancy or that I'm about to start my cycle. No! I'm not due for another week and a half, and my cycle is so long and irregular anyway - so the gynae suspects an early pregnancy(as I had a funny cycle last month) . Did the whole blood test thing - so I must phone in to get the result after 11am tomorrow. She says, even if it shows negative, there's still a chance because its still early. (I would only be 2 weeks or so). She ruled out bladder infection, other infection, other tum probs, & there's no cyst in sight.
I'm tired of this emotional rollercoaster. We've been trying(TTC) for about 18months now.
Everytime I get my hopes up, they get shattered. I'm really trying not to, but deep inside it's so difficult - I'm really hoping that this is the end of my little infertility spell, and it means some kind of joy will be brought into hubby & my life very soon.
I've waited patiently(sometimes impatiently) for so long - even watching my younger sister bring the first grandchild into our family recently. That hurt a little - ok a lot, as she isn't married, the boyfriend isn't in a stable job, they don't have their own place, etc, and here I am, happily married, we've both got stable jobs, we don't owe on our stunning house, neither do we owe a cent on our cars...and yet we can't add a beautiful little being into our family.
Don't get me wrong - I love my sister so much, and I love my little nephew to bits... He wasn't a mistake! Life happens! God put him here for a reason. Sometime's I just don't understand why things play out the way they do.
That's why deep down I am secretly, silently hoping, that this is the end of our struggle - but if it isn't, then I'll just have to pick myself up and carry on. In His Time, they say - not our own.
I will see how things go during the day - a bit busy at work. Might post a bit later.
xxx
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A lazy Sunday...
Well, now that I've gotten to my first blog post, I have to think a bit... LOL.
I'm not in a very good place at the moment. It feels as though life is just one big mess right now. The only thing good in my life, is my wonderful husband. He really tries his best! He really loves me, and I love him more than anything in this whole world!
A little bit of background; Before I met my hubby, I went through a lot of traumatic events - I won't say alot about that now, as it might come out later in my blog posts as I try and work through my disordered thinking. I was diagnosed with PTSD and was put on very strong anti-depressants. When I met him, I decided to go cold-turkey, and take myself off of them. I suppose you could say that I thought If I was still on them, maybe he would think that he wasn't making me happy. Stupid, I have now realised. Anyone knows that one has to ween themselves off anti-depressants.
Things were going really peachy, they still are. But as I go through daily struggles with certain things, as all of us humans do, I find myself battling - and wishing that I could cope a bit better. Sometimes it seems that the smallest things cause me to sink a bit deeper back into that deep, dark pit of depression, and I don't know how to pull myself back out.
I've cried a few times this week, which shows me something is not right.
I feel as though I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That is why I decided to start a blog, and see if maybe I can release some of my built up tension/feelings.
Now that you've read my first blog - you might understand things a bit better, as well as understand certain blogs to follow.
Now for some general banter - Wow, are we having such a lazy Sunday or what? haha! I love it! We really need it! My cousin had a Welcome back Party at her place from about 2pm yesterday. It was fab! Saw some of my old friends that I havent seen in ages. It's great that our friendship circle is coming together again. Hubby & I left at 8ish. He wasn't feeling well & neither was I. I think it's all the stress that we're going through at the moment.
I started my diet again as of Monday, and I've done very well so far. I've lost 2.8kgs this week, which I think is a great start! I've decided that I'm tired of being the 'fat' one in my group of friends. I'm just tired of everything to do with being overweight. I got to a nice weight just before I met my hubby... but then after meeting him, I was forced into recovery and gained so much weight. I also found out when we started trying for children, that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome...which causes infertility. So I'm insulin resistant, and have been on this crazy dose of meds to try get my body right, which also added to the weight gain.
Anyway 2010 is the year for ME! The year I get the body I want! I'm doing it for ME! I'm doing it for my sanity!
I better get going!
I know it's belated, but Happy New Year to you all! May all your dreams & aspirations come to pass!
xxx
I'm not in a very good place at the moment. It feels as though life is just one big mess right now. The only thing good in my life, is my wonderful husband. He really tries his best! He really loves me, and I love him more than anything in this whole world!
A little bit of background; Before I met my hubby, I went through a lot of traumatic events - I won't say alot about that now, as it might come out later in my blog posts as I try and work through my disordered thinking. I was diagnosed with PTSD and was put on very strong anti-depressants. When I met him, I decided to go cold-turkey, and take myself off of them. I suppose you could say that I thought If I was still on them, maybe he would think that he wasn't making me happy. Stupid, I have now realised. Anyone knows that one has to ween themselves off anti-depressants.
Things were going really peachy, they still are. But as I go through daily struggles with certain things, as all of us humans do, I find myself battling - and wishing that I could cope a bit better. Sometimes it seems that the smallest things cause me to sink a bit deeper back into that deep, dark pit of depression, and I don't know how to pull myself back out.
I've cried a few times this week, which shows me something is not right.
I feel as though I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That is why I decided to start a blog, and see if maybe I can release some of my built up tension/feelings.
Now that you've read my first blog - you might understand things a bit better, as well as understand certain blogs to follow.
Now for some general banter - Wow, are we having such a lazy Sunday or what? haha! I love it! We really need it! My cousin had a Welcome back Party at her place from about 2pm yesterday. It was fab! Saw some of my old friends that I havent seen in ages. It's great that our friendship circle is coming together again. Hubby & I left at 8ish. He wasn't feeling well & neither was I. I think it's all the stress that we're going through at the moment.
I started my diet again as of Monday, and I've done very well so far. I've lost 2.8kgs this week, which I think is a great start! I've decided that I'm tired of being the 'fat' one in my group of friends. I'm just tired of everything to do with being overweight. I got to a nice weight just before I met my hubby... but then after meeting him, I was forced into recovery and gained so much weight. I also found out when we started trying for children, that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome...which causes infertility. So I'm insulin resistant, and have been on this crazy dose of meds to try get my body right, which also added to the weight gain.
Anyway 2010 is the year for ME! The year I get the body I want! I'm doing it for ME! I'm doing it for my sanity!
I better get going!
I know it's belated, but Happy New Year to you all! May all your dreams & aspirations come to pass!
xxx
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