*Sherri*

So, I'm dedicating this blog to my fave cousin in this whole wide world... It doesn't matter how hurt, cross, & upset I am! I still love her with my whole heart!

So here's the story... Sherri was with her boyfriend for about 3yrs... and then left him. The reason: he hit her one too many times. The last straw was when they were at a club on the eastrand - Nicci Beach! She asked one of the bouncers to take a pic of them with her camera...and he flew off the lid because she gave her camera to a black man! I mean, come on!!! He's a bouncer for goodness sake! So he backhanded her down a flight of stairs...she thought he was on his way down to help her up, when he hit her down the next flight of stairs. She thought her nose was broken!! She was bleeding! That wasn't the first time... A year or so ago, they had come this side for the weekend for our other cousins 21st. After the 21st, her and the bf, came with us to a club...on our way out the club, she recognised a far cousin of hers, who is leb(not on my side), and she said hi. Now, porra's and lebs do not get on! He almost got into a fight with the guy for no reason...on our way home(they were in the back of the bakkie), they had a huge fight - he apparently strangled her. when she tried to scream for my help, he tightened his grip...then eventually let go... when we got to my place...she was in tears...and told me everything in the bedroom. She even developed an ED while with him... she weighed something like 48kgs when she got home.

Now everything was great... She had left him - moved back this side...we had a welcome home party for her... she and one of our other friends were showing interest in eachother...he's an awesome guy, and the total opposite of what she knows... she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, but they were working on their friendship, etc... she was mending her friendships with everyone... 
Last thursday evening, before we went to a club... i fetched her from her parents place so that she could come and get ready by me... on our way home... she was on the phone to her ex the whole time...he wanted to pitch up at the club...but we all would've made sure his ass got kicked so hard that he never would've set his feet near my cuz again. Well he didn't pitch up. I was upset with her though, because she lets him walk all over her... even though they weren't even together anymore. I think that is the reason she didn't tell me :(

We all had fun that night... partied hard. I never heard from her after that... All I know is that sunday, her ex was going to go and apologize to her parents face-to-face... Today, when I logged onto facebook, I noticed she had deleted her profile. Then I got very suspicious...
I sms'd her mom to find out what was going on? If she was ok, etc as I haven't heard from her...
She replied that Sherri had gone back to her ex... She told her mother that she was going to Warmbaths for the weekend, which was a lie. She never told any of her friends. She also changed her cellphone number. 

I am so upset! She is supposed to be my best friend! She never even told me anything - She never even said goodbye. :-( 

When I spoke to our mutual friends, they were all told that she was going to one of her aunts for the weekend. Just the night before 'that sunday' - she had told all of us, this is the year for new beginnings, friendships, etc. 

I'm soooo worried about her - how will she be able to contact us if she needs us?? She's moved far away! She deleted her fb account! And her number is non-existant. How will we be able to contact her to say hi, to just check if she's ok??? :-(

It feels like my world has turned upside down...

Here's some pics of my gorgeous cousin: (ignore any dates on the pics... these pics are all recent - within the past 2months)

~~~~On a brighter note - we went away for the weekend. We left on thursday, and got home this morning. It was awesome! I had such a great time with my hubby, my friend and her bf... They are awesome people! 
Took my simply slim for 3 days last week. Thought it would be best if I left it over the weekend because you aren't supposed to drink alcohol on those tabs... So I will officially start it again tomorrow.

I'm going to call it a day - It's been a rough one! 
Have a great week everyone! Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day! 
xxx

*DrAmA*QuEeN*

This week has been one of pure craziness... Workwise, we have been working to the bone...
I'm just praying it pays off- I can't take this stress anymore. I just cant! Broke down again this week, and the smallest things crack me further... Not fun! If i stress, I get physically ill... And i saw it again this week - my stomach was upset for the better part of the week.

Had a braai with friends last night & our place. Was great - but went overboard... too much booze, and and and.... stayed up all night with my cuz & my other friend, while, Bj slept, and our other friends in their room. Had to take my friend home at 5.30am this morning so she could get ready for work. hmm wasn't in a good state to drive - but did pretty well. haha

Had a huge fight with my aunt today. I cannot believe what a selfish & self righteous bitch she is. It's about that gym cardio equipment my mother swapped with her for her health walker...
Now, i was upset about it when the whole 'swap' thing happened because I used it more than anyone in my whole family did. I thought i would have first option to get that cardio equipment. But anyway - the deal was that after a yr or so, when they're bored, they'll swap back. So, we asked if we could swap back a few months ago, and there were always excuses... so today, my mom spoke to my aunt, and my aunt said my mom must speak to my uncle about it, she's not getting involved. So my mom did. My uncle apparently pulled every excuse out why not to swap back, which my mother kept backing up with other facts of her own. And when he saw he wasn't winning - he told her that my dad owes him money for a gate he put up yrs back for them. You know what's the funny thing about this whole part.... my uncle NEVER even finished the gate - my dad had to. And anyway, that deal was made between him & my dad, so it had nothing to do with what was going on with the exercise equipment.

So the verdict was this - my dad could keep the 1500 that he owes my uncle, and my uncle will pay him another 500 for the cardio equipment. My parents paid about 5000 for that. Where's the logic??? They're fucken thieves. *sorry for the language, but I am very upset and hurt! And I did say this was my 'venting' space, didn't I?* lol

So then I sms'd my aunt, and this is the rough convo:
(Aunt=A)

Me: 'I am so disgusted & disappointed right now.To think that your own family can turn on you like that. It makes me sick to the core. Well that's it from me. Take Care'

A: 'Pardon me, but what does this have to do with you?'

Me: 'I could ask the same.What does this have to do with Uncle D?'

A: 'Your mom/dad owes D money, so I must find out both stories before butting in'

Me: 'Oh, money for the gate was never even finished, leaving my dad to do it. Funny that. I know alot more than you think I do. Atleast its not us that will have to answer to the big man one day.'

A: 'According to me, this book is closed.'

Me: 'Oh yes it is. And you'll never see me again.'

A: 'Always the drama queen, that has to have the last say... 25??? Hard to believe.'

Me: 'Well it must run in the 'family'.

*****
And that was it... can you believe it??? I'd rather be a 'Drama Queen' than be selfish & self righteous. You know - im tired of it. I'm writing them off. They mean nothing to me. I'm sooo tired of people walking over my parents and me. They don't deserve it. My parents do their best to help anyone who is in need of help. And it's like there is people with knives around every corner, just waiting to stab it in their backs. I have decided F#*K that! I will not keep quiet anymore. I will stand up to everyone and anyone who treats my family unjustly, I will not hold my mouth... Where everyone else is too scared to say something, I will be the person to say it!
Come on now? Is that really wrong of me? I don't think so...

You know - my mom is nothing like her sister - she is caring, unselfish, honest, always there to help at the drop of a hat, and just one of the best people i know. Some of the few traits, her sister doesn't have. Her sister takes after their mother.... everything is always about 'me, me, me, me, me and what more can I and everone else do for ME' - how can one live with their conscience being like that. Self bloody righteous. It disgusts me, and sickens me to the core.

Well, it's over now -

I had such a lazy day - slept from about 10ish till 3.30... and feel like sleeping some more... haha! My perfect saturday!

I weighed in this morning - thought I would take a chance. After all the booze last night, after eating a boerewors roll for breakfast cos I was soooo hungry, and with a full bladder.
The scale showed me that I was 0.6kgs down. OMG! Shocker - but sooooo happy! I'm trying so hard.

I became an agent this week for the miracle weightloss tablet - Simply Slim. So excited to get this going. People are losing crazy amounts of weight on it. Mr South Africa lost 3.5kgs in his first 2 days.(during this week) It has a 92% success rate - the 8% only going to those that have problems such as diabetes, or thyroid, etc... Check the site out... www.simplyslim.co.za

The nice thing about it - is it forces you to drink a minimum of 3litres of water per day... which keeps your body hydrated, you don't lose water weight, so what you lose is pure fat. It speeds up your metabolism with no drastic changes to your dietary as well as your exercise habits. I'm going to be starting on it month end too. I'm sooo excited. It's a little pricey. Going at R590 for a months supply of 30 tabs - but it is soooo worth it. It also comes with a 7month guarantee. If you don't lose in 7 months - you'll get a full refund. Now what diet product does that?? None. Says something doesn't it.
If anyone of you live in SA and would like to order some to try - please let me know.

Ok, I'm going to browse some blogs now - for inspiration... Have a great weekend lovelies...

*Drama Queen - signing out... Haha! ;-)

A lazy Sunday...

Well, now that I've gotten to my first blog post, I have to think a bit... LOL.

I'm not in a very good place at the moment. It feels as though life is just one big mess right now. The only thing good in my life, is my wonderful husband. He really tries his best! He really loves me, and I love him more than anything in this whole world!

A little bit of background; Before I met my hubby, I went through a lot of traumatic events - I won't say alot about that now, as it might come out later in my blog posts as I try and work through my disordered thinking. I was diagnosed with PTSD and was put on very strong anti-depressants. When I met him, I decided to go cold-turkey, and take myself off of them. I suppose you could say that I thought If I was still on them, maybe he would think that he wasn't making me happy. Stupid, I have now realised. Anyone knows that one has to ween themselves off anti-depressants.
Things were going really peachy, they still are. But as I go through daily struggles with certain things, as all of us humans do, I find myself battling - and wishing that I could cope a bit better. Sometimes it seems that the smallest things cause me to sink a bit deeper back into that deep, dark pit of depression, and I don't know how to pull myself back out.

I've cried a few times this week, which shows me something is not right.
I feel as though I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That is why I decided to start a blog, and see if maybe I can release some of my built up tension/feelings.

Now that you've read my first blog - you might understand things a bit better, as well as understand certain blogs to follow.

Now for some general banter - Wow, are we having such a lazy Sunday or what? haha! I love it! We really need it! My cousin had a Welcome back Party at her place from about 2pm yesterday. It was fab! Saw some of my old friends that I havent seen in ages. It's great that our friendship circle is coming together again. Hubby & I left at 8ish. He wasn't feeling well & neither was I. I think it's all the stress that we're going through at the moment.

I started my diet again as of Monday, and I've done very well so far. I've lost 2.8kgs this week, which I think is a great start! I've decided that I'm tired of being the 'fat' one in my group of friends. I'm just tired of everything to do with being overweight. I got to a nice weight just before I met my hubby... but then after meeting him, I was forced into recovery and gained so much weight. I also found out when we started trying for children, that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome...which causes infertility. So I'm insulin resistant, and have been on this crazy dose of meds to try get my body right, which also added to the weight gain.

Anyway 2010 is the year for ME! The year I get the body I want! I'm doing it for ME! I'm doing it for my sanity!

I better get going!
I know it's belated, but Happy New Year to you all! May all your dreams & aspirations come to pass!

xxx